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本帖最後由 sec2100 於 2017-6-18 16:10 編輯
看完這篇文章，我有點鼻酸…
I cannot live the next 25 years, like I have lived the last 25 years.
我成為現在的我，還是要歸功比特幣，我有現在的財富，靠的是非交易的事業
Thanks Daermo for your excellent post. My guess is we have a lot of the same experiences. I am the original poster on this thread in 2013. It has been years since I have posted anything in this forum. I think it is because I thought I had the problem kicked. But no it is/was not, nor do I think as of today that my addiction will ever be “kicked”, and I felt the need to write something today for myself, and hopefully also to help others. The good news is that as of today, my net worth is a few hundred thousand dollars, so I am not in a horrible situation, and this is primarily because the business I have (not trading related) is doing well. Also, probably half of that net worth is from an “investment” in bitcoin in 2013, which I should note, I have never traded even once. I have just bought bitcoin, not sold, as it has gone up 100+ fold, and that is the one thing I feel like I can be proud of in terms of what I have done with my savings.
買個股的Call，讓他又損失慘重
The bad news is that I started option trading again, after my initial post in 2013, in about 2015, and have many serious negative consequences because of that, not just financial ones Ironically, the WORST thing that happened to me was that I made about $10K trading options in 2015. Why? It gave me trading confidence again after the destruction in my confidence from the previous 20 years of losses. I once again thought I was smarter than everyone else, and knew the market well enough to “beat the market” over the long term. I thought I was never going to lose again! I had it all planned out in a spreadsheet. Just a 5% return per month and I could retire in 5 years-no problem! So, I plowed more and more of my savings into my option account and took on more and more risk. My strategies seemed to change with the wind, from mimicking a long term contrarian strategist (I never had the patience to hold on to my positions with this method, as there wasn’t enough “action/trading” to get the high I needed) to getting a membership with a short term trading guru, which was a disaster as well. In 2016, I lost about $50K, and I have lost over $10K already in 2017. I guess I am writing today because I think I had my final blowout today, and realized that if I continue with this path I will likely go through all of my money, eventually. The blowout happened because I was so sure that a stock was going up after its earnings report tonight, I bought March options last week, and as of now, it looks like the stock will open up 10% lower tomorrow and my options will be worthless Check out $ACIA, and you will see what I am talking about. Im sure I will lose all or most of the $5K or so on the 60 call options I bought.
晚上喝酒，讓晚上過的更快，早上9:30一到，異常興奮。每到周未，我莫名沮喪
The money that I have lost is painful, but not nearly as painful as to what has happened inside me. The feeling of complete lack of self worth has been almost continuous this past year or so, interrupted by blasts of invincibility during the times I am in a winning position. The agitation, and anxiety I feel during trading hours, and the feeling of impatience and agitation during non trading hours, is painful. I cant wait to get to 9:30 EST for the options markets to open to get a change of emotional state. And although I have never taken cocaine, hitting the buy or sell button is probably not much different than what I have been experiencing trading. I often have difficulty sleeping Sunday through Thursday nights, and I often find myself checking futures markets in the middle of the night. I find myself drinking wine often at night to relax and to make time go faster so I can get to 9:30AM more quickly, so I have the chance to trade again. Drinking also helps to numb the pain of losses. I wake up a lot of days on the weekend depressed, feeling that life is not worth it. It is all related to my self-worth and even though I do ok with my business, my self worth is tied to a much smaller part of my life-my success in trading, and that is sad. I have not told my wife I lost $60K this past year or so, and the feeling of hiding this grinds on me every day. She frankly didn’t know about the $10K I made in profit the year before either. She probably just thought they were normal capital gains from investing my extra money (I do our taxes so she doesn’t look into it too closely) I feel like, although I have never cheated on her, completely deceitful because of my trading and hiding my trading from her.
99%是輸家，應該即早認清，我還是結婚了，但已經錯過了生下一代的大好時光
Im here to tell you, no matter how smart you are, that for 99% of you, you cannot beat the market, and for 99.9% of you, you cannot beat the market in any significant way. I went to very good colleges and have an MBA. I studied options in school and for 25 years in practice, and I get crushed in these markets nearly every year, because it is gambling, pure and simple, and I am a compulsive gambler. It has cost me, big time, in relationships, and I feel like I have lost half my life because of this addiction, as I feel like I have been in the compulsive trading zone as a zombie for half of the last 25 years. I feel like I don’t have children because of my trading. Why? Because in my 20’s and half my 30’s I never had any extra money not in the markets, and therefore I never had the confidence to go after the women I really wanted, because the woman I wanted would expect me to have a decent amount of money given my background. And although I think I have a good marriage, by the time I did get married to someone who was about my age, it was too late to have children, and for that I will never be able to forgive myself. DON’T let something like this happen to you. Yes, I have a little money today, but it is so dreadfully painful knowing that if, after college, I had simply taken 10% of my income and put it in a stock mutual fund every paycheck, I would be a retired multi-millionaire today at a relatively young age.
我終於要消戶了，去買債券型基金，我重生了，我要跟賭博(交易)道別
First thing tomorrow, I have promised myself to take all available funds in my brokerage account and put them into a treasury bond fund, and cancel my options account. All future funds will be going into diversified mutual funds. There is no way I can survive trading any more, it has worn too much on me for 25 years. Even trying to trade, or frankly even long term invest in any specific stock, I know will just lead me down the same path of taking bigger and bigger risks. Just making the plan to do this tomorrow is putting me at ease. My normal nightly anxiety before a trading day is completely gone now, and I feel like a new man. In all honesty, I have done this before, but I really feel like this is the last time. Wish me luck, and strength to see this through. I cannot live the next 25 years, like I have lived the last 25 years. Like Daermo said, I have to control my actions, today, tomorrow, and forever. I so badly want to look at this day, 20 years from now, as the day I stopped hurting myself and my family. Gambling problems do not get completely shut off-ever, IMO. I plead with anyone here who is reading, to do everything you can to not get involved in this game, especially without question, if you have the habits of a compulsive gambler, like I do. Just making the plan to do this tomorrow is putting me at ease.
資料來源:
http://www.psychforums.com/gambling-addiction/topic108461-70.html#p1998412
註: 從上方連結，您可以看到上開文章作者繼續的回文，也值得一讀。
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